My Boyfriend is a Vampire (MBiaV)

(Not aired yet)

Week starting October 15th, 1995

Phil Bedard & Larry Lalonde

Allan Kroeker

Geordie Johnson as Jerry Tate & Stephanie Louise Vallance as Charly Hawkes

The episode begins with a tabloid-talk show - "The Jerry Show" - interview of a woman named Maggie Dwyer who says her boyfriend is a vampire. Another guest, a psychologist, says that poor Maggie has a case of "unwellness love," which is characterized by an obsession for or devotion to someone who can't or won't return one's love. This is contrasted with "wellness love," which includes among other things, great sex. Tracy is in the studio audience and Natalie is watching the program from her office. They both recognize that their relationships with Nick and Vachon probably fall into the "unwellness love," category.

After the show Maggie is murdered. While on the scene investigating, Tracy tells Nick that she saw Maggie on the "Jerry Show." Nick thinks Tracy is silly to follow the "Jerry Show." He tells Natalie about the boyfriend being a vampire, and as he does, he makes a face as if he can't believe anyone would think such a ridiculous thing could be possible. Natalie gives him a look he's lucky he doesn't see.

Next Tracy and Nick interview Jerry, the host of the program, and his producer Charly. Charly is obviously infatuated with Jerry, and neither seem to care much about what happened to Maggie Dwyer. They had not done any kind of a background investigation on her. All they were interested in is the fact that Maggie thought she had a supernatural lover - they were just exploiting her. Jerry and Charly would like to do a show with Tracy, focusing on challenges faced by women in traditionally male professions. Tracy is not pleased. Nick thinks it's a very amusing idea.

Tracy tells Nick she has to run home to meet a plumber. Actually, she goes to see Vachon about the possibility that the boyfriend is a vampire. She drops some broad hints to Vachon about relationships from a woman's point of view, but he acts like all that has nothing to do with him. "Men!" says Tracy, exasperated. Vachon has a flashback to a time when he and his vampire buddies enjoyed a roll in the hay with some loose women. "Women!" he says after she leaves.

In the meantime, Nick visits Natalie at her lab. She grabs a piece of paper out of his hands, breezes by him, plops herself in a chair and begins to peer at something through a microscope. Nick follows her and while she looks though the microscope they discuss the possibility that Maggie Dwyer's boyfriend really might be a vampire. Natalie avoids looking at Nick, and she adopts a very distant and business-like tone of voice.

Now even Nick can't help but realize that Natalie is angry with him. He asks her why and she tells him she feels like he is using her, and that he is hurting her. He insists that is not his intention. She asks him what his intention is. He does not answer her and appears dumbfounded. Conveniently, his cell phone rings. It is other detectives are on a stakeout of Maggie's apartment. Someone has entered the apartment, and Tracy has gone over to check it out. Nick has to leave immediately, just in case it is the boyfriend and he really is a vampire.

Tracy wanders around the darkened apartment, hears a noise, and turns on the light. She discovers that Nick and Vachon have together captured a middle-aged dweeb. He turns out to be Maggie's boyfriend, and he is definitely not a vampire. At the precinct, Tracy and Nick question him. He was just having an extra-marital fling with Maggie. The vampire bit was her idea and he went along with it just for kicks. Disgusted, they let him go.

After they finish with the boyfriend Nick and Tracy discuss the case with Reese. Nick tells Reese about the interest the "Jerry Show" people had in doing a story with Tracy. To Tracy's dismay and Nick's amusement, Reese decides doing the story would be a good way for Tracy to go undercover on the case.

Nick returns to his apartment to find Natalie waiting for him. Both had been listening to Lacroix on the radio, talking about how much love hurts. When Nick asks her what's wrong, Natalie tells him she has decided to give up on him and walks out of the apartment. He gazes after her, hurt and stupefied.

Next the psychologist who was on the "Jerry Show" with Maggie Dwyer is also murdered. While investigating this killing, Nick spots Natalie a few feet away. He wants to talk with her, but she avoids him. Tracy notices this and tries to talk to Natalie about what a good guy Nick seems to be, but Natalie doesn't want to hear it.

Tracy goes undercover and the "Jerry Show" videotapes her meeting with an informant - Vachon. She is dressed in a ridiculous outfit that makes her look more like a hooker than a detective. A man comes up and tries to attack Tracy. Vachon protects Tracy but the man gets away. Back at the precinct, Tracy, Nick and Reese look at the videotape of the attempt on Tracy's life. They discover that the would-be perpetrator hid his face from the camera, which proves that someone from the "Jerry Show" is involved. Tracy and Nick head out to re-visit the "Jerry Show" studio. Nick spots Natalie in the precinct room.

Nick tells Tracy to go on ahead and he goes after Natalie. He corners her in a hallway. He tells her that he is not using her, but doesn't know how to prove that to her. And he doesn't know what to say to her - she should tell him what she wants him to say. (Now, can this be? We know there is no brain trust here, but it's hard to believe that even Nick could be so incredibly stupid that he doesn't know that she wants him to say those three little words!)

Nick joins Tracy at the "Jerry Show" studios and they look around for evidence. While they are there, Tracy is taken hostage by an apparently crazed Charly. While Nick and Jerry stand by, Charly explains that she killed Maggie and the psychologist because they were having affairs with Jerry. She is in love with Jerry and he fools around with other women. (The cad!) She tearfully explains how much it hurts when a man you love tramples all over your feelings. Jerry is amazed. Nick looks like he's trying very hard to understand how what she is saying might apply to him and Natalie. (We have to be patient, the wheels turn very, very slowly, here!)

All of a sudden, Charly realizes that the real villain here is not Tracy but Jerry. She turns the gun on him and shoots him. Nick seizes her before she can shoot someone else. Tracy goes to call the incident in. Despite his super-human strength, Nick is unable to hold onto the very petite Charly, who gets away from him and runs over to her beloved, Jerry.

At the epilogue we find Natalie and Nick together in his apartment. They have made up their differences, and are friends (or whatever) once again. Nick has given her a bouquet of grocery store flowers and a little card upon which is written a mysterious message, which apparently has satisfied her. She tells him that his silence is OK with her. She can tell what he's thinking just by looking at him. He tells her she'll never understand how much he really..... cares. (Ugh! Men!).

The flashbacks were all Vachon's, to a time when he, Screed, and another young vampire named Bourbon enjoyed a communal tryst with some young wenches, and Vachon made a mockery of playing the gentleman.

The CERK monologue focused on the pain that is a natural part of being in love. Always aware of the exact nature of Nick's sufferings, Lacroix seems to gloat over this particular misery.

I still laugh out loud when I watch this one, the most comic of all the Forever Knight episodes. It's almost a farce. The "Jerry Show" sequence in the opening scene was so well done that it actually looks like a tabloid-talk show, and not Forever Knight. (Is this the right channel?) They really did an excellent job capturing the atmosphere of callous urgency in the pursuit of trashy and ridiculous stories that must pervade the production of such programs. All that "unwellness love" stuff was priceless! And the faces that Natalie made were equally priceless. Other extremely funny bits were several scenes where Nick teases Tracy about Vachon and whether she believes in vampires or not. But there was also the angsty side of this episode. (Sigh.) "Does he love me or doesn't he?" Will he say it or won't he?" Both Natalie and Tracy want to know, but neither Nick or Vachon seem inclined to say. With the youthful Tracy and Vachon, this is all cute and fun. With people as insensitive and exploitative as Jerry and Charly, it can turn deadly. But I think they may have almost pushed this a bit too far with Nick and Natalie, coming dangerously close to the point of violating the dignity of both characters. Having Natalie push Nick in a direction he can't go weakens and cheapens her character. At one point she says to him accusingly: "Have you stopped drinking blood?" For Nick drinking blood is eating - so, how could he chose to stop? And I know that Nick is not supposed to be the brightest guy in the world, but making a total blithering idiot out of him is too much. It takes tirade by a woman driven over the edge in order for him to figure out why Natalie is not speaking to him? And there were at least two scenes in which he looked like he was trying so very hard to think I was worried he might give himself a headache. Well, I'm sorry, but I just can't accept him as Dagwood! Another thing that seemed more than odd to me was Nick giggling in almost every other scene. His relationship with Natalie appeared to be falling apart, yet he was still able to enjoy himself teasing Tracy while at work. These behaviors seem definitely out-of-character for brooding and sensitive Nick. I suppose many viewers were disappointed that Nick did not say that he loves Natalie at the end. I'll admit this puzzled me also, at first, because it is certainly possible to love a dear friend and admit it openly. But on the other hand, we'd probably lose interest in them pretty quickly if these episodes ended like a romance novel -- I know that I would.

There's not much here for Cousins or Dark Knighties. The extended interactions between Tracy and Vachon should appeal to both Perkulators and Vaqueros. Nick&NatPackers probably loved the theme but would prefer a different ending.

Maggie Dwyer to show audience:	"My boyfriend is a vampire!"
Dr. Joyce to Jerry:	"Well, there are two kinds of love Jerry. There's wellness love, which is good love, healthy love, love love.....And then there's unwellness love, like Maggie's."
Nick to Jerry and Charly:	"Oh, I see. It was a deep investigation of the human psyche."
Nick to Natalie:	"All right, I'll bite! I'm in the doghouse. You're angry with me and I don't know why."
Tracy to Vachon:	"Now that I've expressly told you I don't need you help - I need your help."
Natalie to Nick:	"Oh my God! If I start talking about wellness and unwellness love - shoot me!"

Available